Let's Define 'little'

I have become keenly aware that there are certain words in the English vocabulary that need clarification. Words like: bad, good, comfortable, big, and most importantly ........ little. There are certain words that are reliant upon a comparison. For instance the word good is only significant if compared with a bad situation; i.e. This supper was good, mom. Compared to last night's disaster where you burned over half of our meal. or I am in my comfy clothes. Compared to the tweed pants I just took off that I itched all day in.

You see there are words in our vocabulary that necessitate comparison clarification. This I learned in my Lessons from Week 2. I relate the word LITTLE with kittens and puppies, sweet toddling children, miniature cookies that taste like cardboard, minuscule portions of cheesecake so as not to 'count the calories'. Now I have been reprimanded of late because I misused the word LITTLE in characterization of a great looking truck that my son was hoping to buy. 'cute little truck' is not a complement to a teen boy's dream truck, just passing on the wisdom.

My wisdom of late has come to this conclusion: The word LITTLE must be clarified with what it is in comparison.

Lesson 1: As I arrived to my training on Thursday we went on a LITTLE jog to a LITTLE hill. For me a little jog would be about 100 feet, unfortunately that is not the same comparison my trainer had in his mind. We jogged about 1/2 mile to a LITTLE grassy knoll. At first I am not intimidated by the grassy hill UNTIL he asked us to run UP it and down, without rolling! OH that wasn't all, then we bear crawled UP the LITTLE hill, then squat hopped up this small incline. Over and over we climbed, crawled and hopped up the LITTLE hill. I thought there was for sure a LITTLE heart attack waiting for me. Needless to say I was a LITTLE sore the next morning.

Lesson 2: The single most important lesson of my week came on Friday (after Thursday night's lesson). I have a dear friend that I adore ( I need to say this first lest anyone believe otherwise after reading the rest of this post). She is gifted in so many ways........vocabulary clarification is not one of them! Upon hearing of my journey with weight loss she is motivated to come beside me for encouragement - love her! She asked me did I like to hike - my response was "How long have you known me? Wildlife to me is a roly poly." She suggests that we hike AT Kennesaw Mountain. Now I have done the field trips to KM and hiked trails with children to see and study the HISTORICAL attributes of the area in which we live. I agree to meet her Friday, may I remind you of the LESSON 1 that occurred Thursday night.

I meet her at our designated spot. Her two girls join us, one in college and one in 4th grade. (the Lord has a funny sense of humor to keep me accountable to saying bad things) Where we are parked there is a LARGE incline across the street and some fabulously flat trails to our right. We begin........across the street to the LARGE incline. There was no gradual hike or sweet LITTLE trail, NO it is immediate stepping up rocks, hiking UP this hill. (Pigeon Hill for those of you who care to know) The girls are getting it, me-not so much! She tells me that this is a pretty steep climb but it isn't so BAD, another vocab clarification word - it should have been my clue! Well to make this a short book verses a novel (see vocab comparison) we do take a longer, gentler route but still have to climb over rocks, around trees and yes there was wildlife!

About half way through this escapade we look up, because all I could look at was the ground so as not to fall over a root or rock, there stands a herd of deer -- ok it was 2 but you know there were more! I FROZE - reference my idea of wildlife. Well so did they!! They were in no hurry to get away from us but I was not moving until those suckers were out of site. The girls shooed them away but I was terrified, I have seen that America's Funniest Video where the guy gets mauled by the deer in his front yard. Deer are DANGEROUS (yes another vocab comparison should be inserted but I just can't do it)

After the dangerous encounter with wildlife we do successfully make it to the top of LITTLE Kennesaw Mountain!!! HOORAY, I didn't die! However, I do want to make this clarification on the vocabulary of LITTLE at this point..............it AIN'T LITTLE. Compared to the Rockies, yes it is little, compared to Mt. McKinley, ok perhaps I can concede it is slightly smaller but LITTLE Kennesaw is not for the faint of heart - but it is worth the view.

In all seriousness however, I am so encouraged by my friendship that has seen me in my pits and passions. That God gives me opportunities to experience Him in huge, gigantic, enormous capacities through His creation. That I have laughter at those times of challenge. May today God grant you a friend to walk/hike beside you, His glory expressed in creation and belly laughter in times of challenge. Oh yeah, and vocabulary clarification for those hard words in life.

I love ya T!!

FROZEN to stone due to the DEER. (but got my coffee)

Lessons from Week 1

I am still alive!! In the middle of last week I wasn't sure that was going to be the case! The thought of having to go to the bathroom about sent me to tears because my legs hurt from all the squats that we had been doing. But oh no, the bathroom is inevitable due to drinking an entire inground pool of water each and every day! I have never become so intimate with my water closet in my entire life. I contemplated just bringing my pillow one night when I was up for the 4th time. (Sorry to be so personal)

There have been several lessons I have learned this week that I would like to share with you guys.

Lesson 1: My idea of a piece of chicken and the 'Plan's' idea aren't the same. I am not sure where they are getting their chickens but these chickens are also on a meal plan, that is all I have to say. I have often tried to get a vision of the actual chicken that had this kind of breast --- well let's just say I would have recommended an implant of some kind.

Lesson 2: Getting up and down off of a gym floor is not one in my repertoire. I have known for quite sometime that I am a systematic kind of person. Even back in the day when I taught aerobics we did all our standing items/stretches, then went to the floor completed all of those items and then gradually came back to standing for dismissal. NO, for those of you who are wondering, that is not the way of this wave of exercise. We are on the ground, then stand up do something, then back to the ground but then hopping up in one swoop -- Jesus take the wheel and drive my tail back to the 90s.

Lesson 3: I feel stronger! Not sure if this is a genuine measure of strength or just in my head but my muscles have awakened from their 16 year hibernation and have thanked me for movement. I have conquered some mental mountains as well as the big hill in my neighborhood that I walked UP on Saturday. Now I am not going to tell you the conversation that went on in my head in order to accomplish that one!

Strength comes in different forms. Am I physically stronger, I think yes, even after one week. But more than anything else I am becoming mentally stronger, emotionally more resilient, and definitely spiritually awakened. With each step in the right direction whether uphill or down I am moving to become a person of strength. I have come to realize that the bravado in which many of you saw as strength was actually some compensation so you would not see my weaknesses. Not to say that I do not have areas of strength but my over compensation in many areas was to disguise or divert attention from what was really happening on the inside.

Ultimately my strength can only come from the Lord (Psalm 118:14) Each day as I fold back the layers of this journey, facing many of those giants of my past and my present it is only by His hand holding me up that I am able to say:

But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. 
 2 Timothy 4:17

Not only is the Lord supplying my strength but He has a purpose for me beyond this adventure that I need to fulfill. I shared with a friend this week that I feel as though I am in bootcamp. I have absolutely no military knowledge but to my understanding once you survive bootcamp then you receive your assignment. I am in bootcamp. It is grueling at times, I don't like it, it is hard, I think very not nice things about the trainer, but ultimately I know that I will be given an assignment that I need to fulfill from this training. This training is making me able to do what I am called to do. I don't know what that is but I trust the one Who is assigning it to me.

The Snow Run

For those of you who are wondering about the mile run on Saturday,,,,,,,,,,well I can sum it up with I wasn't last but I wasn't first either. Yes we ran in 30ish degree weather in snow flurries! I am not sure what this may say about our group or this new adventure.

I do know this........I was encouraged by the people I was with. They are a group of people who are not gathered together by accident. Before we began our run we met at the Coach's gym, I was just glad to get to the bathroom, it's a long way from my house and once again you know I had me some coffee. The Coach asked some of us our 'story', how we got to where we are - out of shape and overweight. One thing I am discovering is that each of us has a story..........some are triumphant, very inspiring, others are tragic and heartbreaking and others are lost sheep in need of direction.

I desire to share so much with you on this blog but will reserve most of my posts to my personal journey. Right now I am scared but encouraged, so far out of my element of control I feel as though I am in a foreign land. I left the gym the other day after having my first conversation with the Coach with tears streaming down my face for the majority of the way home. Not because of what he said but more about what he revealed in me. I am coming to realize this is not just a journey on my weight loss or becoming physically healthy but there will be more that I know about myself. It is a journey of who I am or who I am becoming.

There are reasons as to why we hide behind our weight. There are motives to our comforting ourselves in the southern comforts of food. There are conveniences and avoidances that we have taken up in order to deny the hard issues of life. So understand that with each pound that is lost there are layers of understanding and fierce giants slain in my life. God has been preparing me spiritually over these past few months for the battle at hand. I have my weapons for the warfare and I know Who has my back.

Thank you for all of you who have encouraged me either by your posts or personal contacts. You have no idea how much your words came to my mind as I was running amidst the flurries. The fact that you believe I can do this even if I have doubted my ability has been my lifeline.

Philippians 3:13-14
 ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press ontoward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.