The foundation of this blog was trifold: 1) to post pictures, inspire and learn from one another about repurposing furniture; 2) to track my weight loss with those who I cannot see and talk with on a daily or even weekly basis; 3) obey what God has been whispering, yelling, in my ear for the past 5 months, really longer if I am honest - WRITE.
In the beginning when the Lord placed that seed of writing into my heart I was driving down a major thoroughfare in our area and it might as well been audible, "I want you to write". There several answers that I gave: what on earth am I suppose to write about? I am no expert on anything other than being tired!! and do you not know I am a terrible writer ~ should we revisit freshman English in college ~ a D, and that did not stand for Dandy!! I personally think the prof felt sorry for me. I have been battling with the Lord on this topic for well over 8 years.
I thought I had won until I began my master's degree and writing was all I was doing. See you should NEVER ignore what God has spoken to you. He has a way of taking you through the boot camp to prepare you for your assignment. So this time when I heard the same voice speaking the same message ~ I listened and obeyed. I had no idea what I would write (some of you are laughing right now due to the fact I have never been without something to say) but I would obey.
Then came the Northside Weight Challenge (formerly Atlanta's Biggest Loser). Now I had something to write about, fo sho!! It seemed that now I faced the dilemma of what to write due to my many options; the Trainer, the Pain, the Food, the Loss, the Team.
So as a summary I will tell you this: I was voted off at the midway point of the challenge. I lost 3 pounds that week but it was not enough to beat my team mates, who are incredible. I have continued to workout with my team twice a week and weigh in with them as well. Our final weigh in is next week with the winner to be announce on 11 Alive on Friday. At this point I would be honored to have any of these girls win the prize. We all have won because we lost. Winning by losing has been a theme to this contest but also for me personally.
I have lost more than just weight (40 pounds at this point ~ lots more to go, 80 more hopefully). I have lost presumptions about myself that were lies from the enemy to defeat me and keep me from accomplishing what the Lord has called me to complete. I have lost insecurities as I have tried on clothes this week that I have not been able to wear for over 5 years and now they not only fit but are loose! I have lost paranoia of what people must think of me which were dangerous whispers the enemy loves to use against me that makes me crazy. I have lost my food controllers; you know those foods that seem to call your name at the most inopportune times. (I am not saying they will not strike at me but they do not CONTROL me).
What I have gained.............the list is way too long but here goes. I have gained confidence. Now some of you are scared right now because this is not something you thought I lacked, haha. What I have become all too aware is that most of the confidence you have seen has been over compensation and not genuine confidence. This new confidence is coming from a place of peace and security of not only weight loss but HEALING!! The little battles along the way that have become victories; driving by DQ and NOT going through the drive through for a 'treat' after a difficult time, cooking for my family in a healthy capacity for us all, NO secret eating!! It is in those tiny (actually HUGE) battles that only me and the Lord share that bring confidence in who I am in HIS ability.
I have gained strength. I mentioned this in an earlier post but it bears repeating. I don't think we really understand the power of actual strength (pardon the pun). As I accomplished those things in the gym; completing my 'run' without walking, making it through 50 jumping jacks without passing out, having the Trainer brag on my workout. Those mountains, literally and figuratively, didn't look so daunting. (BTW to those who read the post on defining Little, I went back to that same hike with my friends last week and did not only Little Kennesaw but also BIG Kennesaw. I loved at the end when we went to get some water in the visitors' center Mr Park Ranger told us that was the most difficult hike in the whole park ~ my chest swelled with strength that day) On the days I want to say this is too hard, I need to quit, I reflect on what I have accomplished to this point and I have the strength to move past the difficulty and into victory.
I am not finished with this journey. I believe it is a lifelong process. There has been a desperate need for change in my life for a very long time. My complacency lulled me into a sedentary and lazy lifestyle. Accepting those things that came my way instead of being a driving force and active participant in what was happening in my life. Most did not see this but I knew it deep inside. I am proud of how far I have come in this process but know there is still so far to go. I have recently read a book that has got my hair on fire!! If you know anyone who struggles with their weight (# pounds does not matter) please tell them to read Lysa TerKeurst Made To Crave, it is life altering! I would love to teach the Bible study this fall at my church. Will let you know if and when that happens.
Thank you very much for all your encouraging words along the way. I cannot tell you how many times your comments, emails and prayers are what got me through some really rough patches.
Strong,
Lisa
